Daisy, this entire episode sounds oh so frustrating, and I'm sorry you are having such a rough time.Also, thank you so much for the warning about the website-who wants or needs to wait a month for anything when needed for a sewing project!
As for the lace, if this were my problem, and I knew I needed white and I had no upcoming plans requiring ecru, I would not hesitate to use bleach. Like so many things in modern life, bleach is one of those things that due to overuse, abuse and high dollar marketing ploys, it has received a "bad rap". Yes, bleach can and will eat through stainless steel-if its misused! But in this instance you will only be bleaching once or twice at most. The following recipe will explain how potent bleach is.
To disinfect a kitchen worksurface (like stainless steel), take a 1qt spray bottle, add 1 tablespoon of liquid beach, swirl the beach around in the bottle to coat the inside,dump out excess bleach and fill the bottle with water. Use to wipe down the surface